Islamic Verdicts - Volume III

The book of funerals

Rulings Pertaining to Visiting the Graves

The reason that the Woman is prevented from visiting the Graves

Q: What is the wisdom behind preventing the women from visiting the graves?

A: It is not for the woman to visit the graves. Rather, the most correct view from the statements of the people of knowledge is that her visiting the graves is forbidden, and it is from the major sins. This is because the Prophet (salallahou 'aleyhi wa salam) cursed the women who visit the graves, and the curse is only for a major sin. For this reason, the people of knowledge have pointed out that one of the signs of the major sin is that it contains the curse (of Allah or His Messenger (salallahou 'aleyhi wa salam)). This is because it (this curse) is a tremendous punishment, and the tremendous punishment is only for a tremendous sin.

However, if the woman happens to pass by the graveyards, there is no sin on her that she stops and supplicates for the people in the graves. In reference to her leaving out of her house intending to visit the graves, then this is forbidden.

The wisdom behind this is that the women visiting graves contains evils. Among these evils is the fact that the woman has a weak will and strong emotions. It is likely that if she comes to the grave of her relative, like her mother or her father, she will not be able to bear her grief. Thus, she will begin crying, wailing and lamenting, which will be harmful to her in her religion and her body.

Also, from the wisdom in this is that if the woman is allowed to visit the graves, which usually do not have any people at them, she will be exposed to the harms of the wicked and sinful people that may come to this empty place. Then something may happen to her that might have detestable consequences.

Also, from the wisdom in this is that the woman is weak in her will and strong in her emotions. She may take the visiting of graves to be a habitual practice and thereby lose the beneficial things of her religion and her worldly life. Her soul will then remain attached to this visiting.

If there was no wisdom in preventing women from visiting the graves other than that the Messenger (salallahou 'aleyhi wa salam) cursed the women who visit the graves, then that only would be sufficient as a reason to beware of it and avoid it. This is because if Allah decrees a command in His Book or upon the tongue of His Messenger (salallahou 'aleyhi wa salam) then we have no choice or opinion in the matter.

Ash-Shaykh Ibn 'Uthaimin

Concerning visiting Graves and the People saying "His final abode"

Q: In our land when a dead person is buried, his family leaves him for forty days without visiting him (i.e., his grave). After that they go to visit him, as they claim that it is not permissible to visit the deceased before forty days has elapsed. What is the extent of the correctness of this?

A: Before answering this question we should first explain that visiting the graves is a Sunnah for the men. The Prophet (salallahou 'aleyhi wa salam) commanded it after he had prohibited it. The visitor is the one who visits the graves in order to implement the command of the Messenger of Allah (salallahou 'aleyhi wa salam) and consider the condition of these dead people who were with him yesterday on the face of the earth. Now they are being held in pawn in their graves for their deeds (which will be presented on their behalf on the Day of Judgment). They do not have any friend or comrade.

Their only company is their deeds.

The grave is not the final abode. Rather, after it will come the Last Day, which is as Allah described it, a Final Day, and there will be no day after it. In reference to the period of remaining in the graves, it is only a visiting period, as Allah said: “The mutual rivalry (for piling up wealth) diverts (or distracts) you all, until you visit the graves” (At-Takathur 102: 1-2).

It has been mentioned that a bedouin Arab heard someone reciting this Verse, "until you visit the graves", and he said, "The one who visits, is not a resident who stays."

Since the time is appropriate, I would like to draw attention to a statement that some of the people say without thinking or contemplating. It is that when they speak about the deceased they say: "Then they placed him in his final abode." If we wish to look closely at the meaning of this statement, it contains a denial of the Resurrection. This is because if the grave was the final abode, this means that the person will not be resurrected after it. This is a dangerous matter, because belief in Allah and the Last Day is one of the conditions of Faith and Islam. However, what seems apparent to me is that the common people say this without thinking about its meaning and contemplating. Nevertheless, it is obligatory to be aware of this and to know that it is forbidden for the person to say such an expression. If the person actually believes what the expression implies, then it is disbelief. Because whoever believes that the grave is the final abode and there is nothing after it, then he has rejected the Last Day.

In reference to visiting the graves after forty days, this is baseless. Rather, it is allowed for the person to visit his relative (the deceased) from the day after his burial. However, if someone dies, the person should not let his heart be too attached to him and he should not make abundant trips back and forth to his grave, as this will renew his grief and cause him t o forget the remembrance of Allah. This will make his greatest concern his being at this grave, and he may be tested by evil whispers, wicked thoughts and superstitions.

Ash-Shaykh Ibn 'Uthaimin